TWO: the FATNESS

There are two kinds of fatness happening in my life.

The first is the fatness of the middle region.


It is due, I am told, primarily to the development of a child (whom we call "Chum"). But I have also been making my own contributions to this middle fatness in the form of large servings of L's wonderful cooking, followed by ice cream at regular intervals throughout the day. People ask me if I crave anything in particular. In between intervals of large servings of L's wonderful cooking followed by ice cream, I crave fruit.

Whatever the cause(s) of this fatness, the results are reportedly good. Aside from finally being able to embark on my career as a WWF wrestler, (I am only a few pounds lighter than L - who is 5'10" to my 5'4"), the most recent ultrasound (at about 23 weeks) revealed healthy heart structures, arms and legs in the appropriate amounts and locations, and confirmed the presence of a penis.

It's official. I can grow a penis.

In contrast to the fatness that is Chum, I had absolutely nothing to do with the other Fatness in my life:



L presented me with the above token of affection and intention a few weeks ago. Although all of his actions thus far have generally indicated an intention to make me an honest women, I did not expect this so soon and thus, was shocked. We were walking back from dinner and I let go of his hand to aid in animating a story (probably something super sexy about how much gas I have) and when I reached for him again, my hand met ring box. A quick peak inside triggered ugly cry face, only to be followed by 15 minutes of me frozen in ugly cry face. In spite of this, he did not rescind his offer and much to my grandmother's relief, we will get married at some point in the future.

good stuff.